The Studio

So, I had the pleasure of traveling cattle class today, and even though I forgot to check in online, I was still able to secure aisle seats in the front of the plane despite having to board the aircraft as a B-class citizen. The flight was altogether uneventful, but I was temporarily amused by the flight attendants.

It seems that Southwest Airlines has figured out that very few people listen to the safety announcements at the start of the flight anymore, so they have taken it upon themselves to liven up the script a bit. Of the two flights I was on, there was some variation in the jokes, so perhaps Southwest inserted some jokes into the script, but then each flight attendant is also able to add her own flourishes.

I'm sure that by now you're fairly familiar with the airplane safety announcements, so I'll highlight some of the comical inserts for your, leaving it up to you to fill in the context. "Hi Ladies and Gentlemen, if we could pretend to have your attention..." begin safety announce, how to buckle your seatbelt..."your seat belt should be worn tight and low on your hips, like a pair of J-Lo pants..." something something... "Should the aircraft transform into a cruise ship..." floating devices explanations, cabin pressure stuff... "If you are traveling with children, anyone in need of special assistance, or adults acting like small children..." put on your mask before assisting them... "If you must choose between multiple children, start with the one with the most potential and work your way down from there." Hehe. I was amused.

I think that ever since 9/11, air travel has lost a lot of its fun, not that it was that much fun to begin with. But these days, it seems that air travel has taken on a serious and sometimes grave nature. The humorous Southwest safety announcements are a great way to lighten the mood and it's also probably a great way to get people's attention.

Congrats Southwest, you guys are doing something right.

"Impossible relationships. My special gift is impossible relationships." Edward Lewis, Pretty Woman. I think he hit the nail on the head with that one. Lately I've been noticing that Eddie and I have some things in common. My problem isn't so much that I find myself in impossible relationships as much as I am drawn to them. It's always that which I can't have that I want; sometimes I am drawn to relationships which I know full well are bad for me. But none of this ever stops me you see. I even had a friend hypothesize that I am drawn to unavailable people.

To some degree, everyone wants what they can't have, but my problem seems a little more extreme and certainly much more chronic. I chase relationships that have very slim chances of succeeding and I also get emotionally involved prematurely. All this is to say that I pretty much set myself up for devastating failures. As much as I've thought about this, analyzed my motivations and actions, I still have no explanation for why it is I chase these impossible relationships.

In the past year I haven't found that many people who have sparked my interest, but of those who have, one was a guy who still wanted to be a player and who didn't know me at all, one was significantly older and lived in another state, one was also significantly older and I don't even know if he was single cuz I talked to him for a total of an hour during which time he mocked me for being a baby, and the last one is a real zinger...it's my long-time friend, longest even because I've known him all my life and for reasons unbeknownst to me, I was crushed when I recently found out that he was dating someone. Gosh I hope he doesn't read this blog. It was like a scene right out of My Best Friend's Wedding. I have to tell you guys that when I watched that movie, I was rooting for Julia to get the guy the whole time, probably because I could totally see myself as Julia and my friend as the best friend.

I think there's a small part of me, deep down where reason does not shine its light, that thinks it would be grand to end up with the person you've known all your life. It sure would make a great story. Anyways, I digress.

Until I can figure out how to identify a successful relationship or an emotionally available man, I'm going to just have to keep myself busy and distracted. Fleeing to a developing country should do the trick....maybe planning a 2,000 person charity concert would help too....

Stay tuned to find out how this story will end...someday....in the not so near future....

I'm far too proud to talk to him, and he's probably not worth it, but if I could talk to him, I would tell him this....

Dearest Y,
I know it's been a few months since we've seen each other, or talked to each other, and while I also know that this is by design, it still doesn't prevent thoughts of you from fluttering across my mind. I'm not the type of girl who can't take a hint, but ever since my line went silent, there's been something that has been bothering me. There's little that I regret about our brief encounters, save one thing. I regret not being myself.

You see, the truth of the matter is that you were the first person that I've liked in a year. And while I thought we were having great fun and I did like you, I liked the idea of you even more. So much so that I tried to be someone whom I thought you would like. I comprised a great deal, and turned a blind eye to even more, in the hopes that I would improve my chances with you. I so desperately wanted it to work, to find someone to fill that gap that he left. You, you were his exact opposite, so I thought, maybe this might work out.

In the end, it didn't matter because you stopped calling. I could sit here and wonder if there was more I could have done, or if I had been myself if the results would have been different, but I'm quite convinced that I was only part of the problem. I recognized an intense desire within you to be a playboy and to be fawned over by others. Despite all this, I plunged ahead, head first, dove right in.

As children, we're taught not to dive into murky waters or into unknown depths of water -- this pool turned out to be too shallow for me. And so I was injured, laid up for a couple weeks. I slowly recovered, and at least I walked away with a lesson. The lesson is, be yourself, be true to yourself, and be picky. Thanks for the lesson.

I was thinking that I might fly today Just to disprove all the things you say It doesn't take a talent to be mean Your words can crush things that are unseen So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive And I'd like to stay that way. You always tell me that is impossible To be respected and be a girl Why's it gotta be so complicated? Why you gotta tell me if I'm hated? So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive And I'd like to stay that way. I was thinking that it might do some good If we robbed the cynics and took all their food That way what they believe will have taken place And we can give it to people who have some faith So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive And I'd like to stay that way. I have this theory that if we're told we're bad Then that's the only idea we'll ever have But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty Someday we will become what we see 'Cause anyone can start a conflict it's harder yet to disregard it I'd rather see the world from another angle We are everyday angels Be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way